It’s not unusual for a child to resist going to school, especially when first starting or moving to a new school. If resistance persists, or a child shows other signs of anxiety, they might need more than patience and gentle encouragement. School anxiety is a reality for many kids, but parents can help them learn to manage it.

Why is School So Stressful for Kids?

School is a big deal and a major transition for kids. Many embrace it, but some worry and nervousness are natural until a child adapts to the change. When worry and anxiety persist and interfere with normal routines, it can become a real problem.

The fact that school is a big change in a child’s life is a trigger for anxiety, but there can be more underlying issues. For instance, a child might struggle with social anxiety. Feeling pressure to succeed in school and become anxious over tests and grades. Separation anxiety can also make younger children resistant to school.

Symptoms of Anxiety in Teens and Children

Most children should overcome these understandable triggers for anxiety. With time, they should adjust and begin to enjoy school. If they don’t, they might be struggling with anxiety, which often looks different in children and teens than in adults. Commonsymptoms of anxiety in a child include:

• Excessive clinginess
• Poor sleep
• Irritability
• Crying and tantrums
• Headaches
• Stomachaches

Kids often express anxiety physically. For instance, if a child complains of stomach pain every day and you can’t find a cause, it could be anxiety.

How to Help Kids Cope with Anxiety in Schools

If you recognize signs of anxiety in your child, and if going to school has become a daily ordeal, you can help them learn to manage it:

• Talk about it. Reassuring your child that everything will be fine if they have genuine anxiety isn’t helpful. Encourage them to open up and talk specifically about what makes them nervous and how they feel. Regular discussions about anxiety and school will help them find a release for those difficult emotions. It will also help you solve specific problems they are facing.
• Get involved early. A new school or new grade can be a scary transition for some kids. Ease them into it by getting them involved in activities well in advance. They can join a soccer team or participate in a summer art program. This helps make the change smoother and gives them a chance to meet and make friends. Visit a new building or classroom before school starts to get them familiar with it.
• Practice coping mechanisms. It’s important to help your child understand that you can’t just make their anxiety go away, but you can help them learn to manage it. Start practicing strategies together, so they learn to use them on their own. These could includeguided meditations, breathing exercises, and visualization techniques. Being able to manage their own anxiety is empowering.
• Talk to a therapist. If you try these and other strategies but your child still struggles with anxiety, they could benefit from a specially trained therapist. Look for someone who works with children.

School anxiety can be debilitating for some children. Parents can do a lot to help. Teach them by example to open up and talk about feelings, to use coping mechanisms, and prioritize their mental health. These steps, and sometimes professional interventions, should help them get through school with fewer worries.